Saturn Running – The Last Hop, Staines.
I am sat in the car a broken man on the way back from my latest running misadventures. Physically as well as emotionally broken! Smeared in ibuprofen gel and lanolin nipple cream as my racing snake wife basks in her glory, driving along, smirking, as she has beaten me twice over the last two days! Not my best way to start the new year!
Reflecting back on how I am slumped in the passenger seat, worrying how I am going to lever my way out of the car when we get home, I need to reflect on how I came to be in this sorry, battered state! It all started, not 3 days ago, on the way back from a parkrun weekend in Devon when I asked Mary a very simple question, “Where shall we parkrun on New Years Day?”
After Mary decided that I could do one of my saved seven – Sence Valley Forest Park. I wasn’t totally enamoured with the idea of using a local one, so I hunted for good value hotels on 31st December further away from home (very few available), we obviously ended up booking two nights in a Premier Inn and a marathon in Staines.
For most this could be viewed as an impetuous decision… daft even! Or stupid when you considered that my come back training had only just reached 9miles.
However, as the event was a multi lap affair over 7 hours, we didn’t have to do six 4.37mile laps to get to marathon distance; we could stop at any lap we wanted and call it a day, collect our medal and goodie bag and head off to the hotel to plan the next day’s parkrun!
But if like Mary you are on the quest for the vest (100 marathons), once you have done four laps, if you have plenty of time you may as well walk the last 9 miles! So I knew what I had let myself in for.
Knowing and planning are two very different things. I used my carefully developed packing strategy – surprisingly not used by many others… of grabbing a random selection of running kit – mainly the clean stuff off the top of the washing pile (okay a few bits from Devon had to dry in the car!) that should do a few runs and some gels, water bottles and a waterproof. I even managed to put in eight running shoes into the car…hopefully there would be a pair somewhere! I was ready to go. Mary took a little longer but soon enough we were off.
Over our prerace pizza we had a long discussion between qualified run coaches about the benefits of Jeffing! Then we had some fun exploring Mary’s new Garmin and how a workout with repeats could be programmed. We had a strategy.
Mary read the race details carefully and saw that we could start early to maximise the time we had to try for a marathon; I looked at the parking costs and decided we could walk from the hotel!
As the morning alarm sounded I prepared the porridge pots and then looked at the kit I had brought with me. I was well prepared although apparently my Mr Bump vest was rather snug, definitely showing a bump! More aspirational than functional unless I wanted to race as part of a bobsleigh team! Thankfully I had spares of everything apart from my running backpack! I would have to rely on the well stocked aid station each lap rather than carry anything. After hearing that my top is snug… maybe I am carry too much already!
After the short walk from our hotel we collected our numbers. Or rather we collected numbers but I didn’t like my number so got it swapped with Mary’s. Much to the amusement of the race organisers!
We then started. There was no massed start as runners are allowed to start anytime between 8am and 1pm!
As breakfast was still sitting on my snug tummy we had already planned to walk the first half lap; this gave plenty of time to look at the very nice riverside residences as we trotted up the towpath. As we started our return on lap one, I pressed the lap button on my Garmin to start the Jeffing pattern for 50 repeats. Mary messed up this stage… as she hadn’t listened to me the night before, she had added no warm up stage! So she had started the workout early!
As we started to run the Garmin cheerfully beeped we were going too fast! When we dropped to our walk phase it still moaned we were going too fast! We need to work on our pacing as well as using a Garmin!
Despite Mary’s reticence over how the regular walk breaks would impact the race, we stuck at it… beep after beep. Soon enough the laps passed by, well under our target pace
At halfway, I had already run further than my training! 11miles of running with only 10 minutes of walking.
At 20 miles in, my body felt leaden and sluggish. I didn’t want to run any more! Maybe I hit the wall but more likely my body was telling me I hadn’t put in the training needed to respect the marathon distance or, was the Garmin warning me I was going too fast for those early miles correct?
The night before, as well as our pacing plan, we had already discussed that if we had made the cut off time to start the last lap we would use it as a cool down, put our hoodies on, and walk. Glancing at my watch I was delighted with my time for 20 miles (especially considering we had walked the first two miles) I began walking knowing I had plenty of time for the last 6 miles and had no worries about the cut off time.
Whilst I was flattened, Mary was still full of beans… Or possibly flat coke, cheese cubes and pretzels from the aid station! Despite our plan to stay together the whole race (I even waited while she used the facilities one lap) another advantage of a lapped course – proper toilets at both ends of this route!, she ran on and left me again! (she tells me I must put in that I told her to! Pick who you want to believe!) Soon I lost sight of Mary as she kept running away from me.
So as I started the plod towards the end of the lap, my body started to let me know I had run a long way.
- My hips hurt.
- My knee hurt. (left only)
- I felt bloated.
- And my nipples started to scream every time my top moved… so every single step!
I knew I couldn’t keep moving for another 2 hours… I had to stop at lap 5, short of a marathon or speed up to get this over with.
As thoughts ran through my head (the only thing running at that point) I remembered back to my Dad’s only race (The Two Castles) and how he had approached it with the Riflemans March to get to Leek Wotton before the cut off! Brisk walk 100 paces, light jog 100 paces.
This strategy gave the garmin great stress and it started beeping away madly. But it got me moving a little faster. And trying to count to a hundred took my mind off the pains and all thoughts of stopping.
Heading under the railway bridge, six minutes before I would get to the end of lap 5, there was Mary. Not waiting for me to finish the last lap together. Not dressed in a hoodie and walking her last lap. Not even walking – she was still running!
After getting my number registered to tick off lap 5 at the turn around point I debated getting my top and walking like the plan. But I wasn’t convinced I could managed the 4 steps up and then down to get my top, even with the handrail to drag myself up, so I kept running too.
Lap 6 was slow and painful. The encouragement from other passing runners also on the hunt for a marathon may have dwindled as runners had finished their races but familar faces and groups of fellow runners that had stayed together were still there with a ‘Well done’, ‘Good running’ or just a nod and wave were now joined with a ’Last lap!’ and a thumbs up. These were especially welcome as the weather had started to turn and clouds has blown in rapidly with the strengthening winds.
Seeing Mary pass me on her run into glory, I managed a ‘Fantastic running’ despite how I felt about being abandoned or maybe being beaten again! First Ilmington, now a marathon. Well, at least I was still first family finisher at parkrun!
That sure and certain knowledge of my parkrun prowess, along with counting steps to 100 and the desire to get under 6 hours kept me moving those last 3 miles!
Sat down in the Last Hop, I realised that I would have to wait a while to get out of all my sweaty kit and put on a warm dry top as, despite my base layer being navy blue, you could clearly see large bloodied circles; this would be a painful shower later. Thankfully the walk back to the hotel passed a pharmacy… and possible treatment and pain relief!
With Marathon #64 in the bag we could start planning the parkrun the next day but the stormy winds meant that was best left until 7am the next day!
Epilogue
After going through plan A, B and C we eventually found a parkrun that was on despite the stormy weather – Rushmoor (Aldershot – home of the British Army).
It offered a fairly flat two lapper, mainly on tarmac as well as plenty of free parking and a great set of friendly welcoming volunteers. It was a fabulous location to have found. After a brief attempt at a warm up, I agreed with my Garmin! My training readiness was 1 and I needed to rest! But this was a parkrun tourism opportunity and the best way to kick off the new year.
So I ran!
However, Mary raced!
I now can’t even console myself that I am faster than her at parkrun!
As my proof reader Mary wants it adding that she beat me by over a minute, also on tired, marathon legs. I am more broken than ever, and still wondering how I will get out of the car!