I used to think Mary was trying to kill me—after today, I’m pretty sure she is!
However, yet again, she failed and I’m here writing another mammoth race report! ✍️
The reason I have for thinking she’s trying to kill me is that she managed to talk me into doing another marathon ♂️ on minimal training. Although, to be honest, it didn’t take much arm-twisting to take part in a race we signed up for ages ago, as the Canal Canter is one of my absolute favourite events.
It’s just 30 minutes away from home and at a bargain price.
Okay, you don’t get a medal, but if you’re racking up marathons and want a really nice sew-on patch, it is perfect. If I had the skill, as soon as I got home I would sew it straight onto one of my hoodies. But I don’t! However, I might know a very talented young lady who has those skills, so maybe if I’m nice, Beth will sew it on for me! (Well, a dad can always hope).
Due to me being chronically undertrained—a weekly parkrun doesn’t really prepare you for a marathon—and Mary not always being the best at following ️ navigational instructions, we decided to run together. In the past, this would mean we’d trot along and chat away; always a really lovely way to spend some quality time with her. (That won’t be in the editor’s version in case she thinks I am getting soft!)
Being an LDWA event (Long Distance Walkers Association), the start times ⏰ vary and are pitched for both walkers and runners. 30-miler ♂️ walkers off at 8:00, 26+ off at 8:30, then 18-milers and ♀️ runners off later. Because this is a challenge event (and you are allowed to run it), it still counts for the Marathon Club! Taking every extra second we could, we started with the walkers.
My initial strategy (definitely not coach-recommended) was to walk the first half of every mile, and then run until the Garmin bleeped to signify the end of the mile. Plus an extra half-mile walk to digest any food eaten at checkpoints!
This did mean a slower start, as you were greeted with breakfast on arrival! Yes, before the race started. Many enjoyed a cured Babe (or is my readership more of a Wilbur fan?) sandwich , though there were plenty of other options on offer. So I set off walking with a mug of tea in hand! ☕️
Before we even reached the first checkpoint, we had to make a slight route diversion into the train station—not to hop on a train to cheat and slim down the distance, mind you, but purely to use the facilities!
When an event hits a milestone year, you know you’re in for a treat, and this 30th anniversary edition did not disappoint! Instead of the usual route, the organizers decided to celebrate three decades of canal-side trotting by throwing a bit of a curveball: doing the course in reverse.
To top it off, summer didn’t just turn up for the vibes and Insta reels—it arrived in full force with a day that was brutally hot and sunny, clearly intent on roasting my pale British skin to a crisp .
Knowing full well that canal towpaths can have stretches of minimal shade, I decided to deploy the heavy-duty gear.
Armed with a bottle of ridiculously expensive sports sun cream (the kind that promises to survive a tropical storm, let alone a bit of runner’s sweat) and rocking a legionnaires hat that made me look less like a marathoner and more like a lost extra from Beau Geste, I set off into the furnace.
And the verdict on the gear? Miraculously, the combo seems to have actually worked! Although, as I write this, my face feels a little warm. I would check it out in the mirror, but I can’t stand up! While I undoubtedly looked absolute nonsense trotting past unsuspecting walkers and cyclists, the neck flap seems to have saved me from turning my usual shade of post-run Massey red . The eye-wateringly pricey sun cream held its ground against the heat, meaning the only things burning by the end were my legs—not my shoulders. And by burning, I don’t mean my skin, but my quads, calves, and hamstrings!
Taking the route backwards meant a few subtle changes from previous years—most notably, there was no stop under Spaghetti Junction this time around. Instead, we were treated to a near-lap around Edgbaston Reservoir, famous for being the home of a local parkrun. It was a lovely, scenic addition to the route, even if the sun was beating down relentlessly on the water. By the dam, it was a pretty new view… unfortunately, it was currently more “park pond” than reservoir due to how low the water level is! I am unsure how the ⛵️ boats and canoes had enough water to skim across.
After Checkpoint 2, we made a pit stop for a cheeky Costa ☕️. By this point, I spotted the Lego store next door and really wanted to go in and play, but that was strictly forbidden by Jeff Galloway (aka Mary). I think she was worried I would try and come home with the giant Lego giraffe that was outside. [Next year!]
While in Costa, my infinite running wisdom finally kicked in (it has been a long time coming!). I also got a cup of iced water to dunk my buff and hat into. Obviously, I didn’t do this inside the store… as Mary was worried that if I sat down, I might not be able to get back up! Total game-changer for keeping the heat at bay, though.
Long-time readers of my reports will know that my strategy at LDWA events usually revolves entirely around the checkpoint buffet, often to the severe detriment of my stomach, navigation, and overall pace. But for once, I exercised some rare restraint. This wasn’t in some vain hope of finally getting down to my ideal racing weight, mind you, but simply because if I enjoyed a little too much, I was likely to take a seat at the checkpoint and have an afternoon nap! I can’t decide if that is because I am an elite athlete who values rest or an ageing man who values naps! So, I kept it light (but OMG, the homemade fat balls—I mean protein snacks—were just so good, I had to have a second! At each checkpoint! They are small, so no harm!). SEE, I can learn!
I’m glad I saved my appetite, though, because the spread waiting at the finish line was top tier. We were greeted with a glorious hot jacket potato topped with a delicious bean casserole (meat options also available), followed up by ice cream with summer fruit (or jelly). Absolutely heavenly after a long, hot stint in the sun, and all washed down with a lovely cup of tea. ☕️
Another fantastic extra… proper post-run showers! No need to smell like an extra from a zombie ♂️ movie all the way home. I would just look like one as I hobbled to the car to get my wash bag.
Yet another fantastic, friendly, and bargain-priced day out courtesy of the LDWA. Here’s to another 30 years!
But if, like Mary and me, you just can’t wait—there is always the Forest Marathon in September… Join us… Join us… ♂️
That is, if I can ever lift my leg enough to get my boxers back on! As it stands, I am stuck sitting dripping wet, wrapped in a towel in the pitch black of the changing room because the motion sensor can’t detect any movement! Hopefully, Mary will rescue me soon… Mary!… MARY!